


If You Do It

by ChapstickLez



Category: Rookie Blue
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-28
Updated: 2015-09-17
Packaged: 2018-03-15 16:01:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 17,701
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3453317
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChapstickLez/pseuds/ChapstickLez
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What if we do it all out of order? What if we fall in love and break up and fall in love again and have a family and get married and yet do none of it the way we're supposed to? What if you do it? What if I do it? What if we do it?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

"If you do it," started Gail, "Then Steve can donate and the baby will look like me. If _I_ do it, we'll have to use a donator and pick one out that looks like you."

It was the same strain of conversation they'd been having off and on for a while. Today it started when they watched one of Holly's favorite medical dramas. She adored the crazy shenanigans the doctors got up to and reveled in explaining how unlikely all the sex was, given how tired a person got in residency. Gail had pointed out how she could care less, but liked watching the pretty people and sitting with Holly. In that way, Holly won the arguments about what to watch.

Smiling, Holly rested her feet in Gail's lap. She could see why Gail ended up thinking about pregnancy today, the main character's best friend was pregnant. "True, but then it would be Steve." She paused and added, "And it's donor. Not donator."

Gail started to massage Holly's feet without being asked, making a face. "Eh. Okay. But I'd have to take time off work."

"But you _can_ work while you're pregnant," countered Holly, closing her eyes as the pain in her feet faded.

Predictably, her girlfriend was grumpy and opinionated. "At a desk!"

So Holly pulled out the big gun. "Where I'd have to take a leave of absence entirely." Holly hadn't been back at the Toronto lab long enough for that to be a really good idea, either.

"Damn," groaned Gail. "Okay, that's a good point."

"Thank you," laughed Holly. They both would be bored while they couldn't work, but Holly would have to take more time off since she'd have to stay out of a lot of the lab work. No doubt she could do paperwork from home, but not being to do autopsies would be depressing.

"God, why can't you have a brother?" Gail stopped rubbing Holly's foot and switched to the other.

"Sorry, all I have are my sisters and cousins... Oh!" The thought struck her and Holly wondered how well that might go over.

"Oh?"

"My cousin looks a lot like me." They looked more alike than she looked like her older sister. That sister had inherited all the pale genes, and while Rose was not as pale as Gail, she looked stark compared to Holly and Heather. They used to tease her that it was because her name didn't start with H.

"I don't know... What if he's got all your families' dumb genes?"

"You're worried he's stupid?"

"No, your little sister is stupid. I'm worried he's _normal_. Our baby needs your brain."

"Your brain is pretty awesome too, honey."

"You're the one with a med school degree, I'm a patrol officer."

"A very good one, with amazing visual acuity. Whereas I have horrible vision."

"If the trade off is smarts, can we go with that?"

"Artificial insemination has come a long way, Gail, but I don't think we can pick and chose like that."

"Bummer."

It was hard not to laugh at Gail's dejected tone. "Besides," added Holly, "Heather is stupid, apparently."

"Your sister was arrested, twice, for buying pot from a cop, Holly. _Twice_. And once was Dov." Gail had found that to be abhorrent and lectured Holly's sister about the matter for a long time. The kicker was that Heather had asked if Gail could teach her how to spot undercover cops. It was amazing Gail hadn't tried to hurt Heather at that point.

"Fine," she smiled. "My baby sister is a grade A moron. I carry those genes too."

"No way, she got all the dumb DNA bits."

"That's not how it works," laughed Holly. "We could adopt..."

"We could," allowed Gail, slowly. She'd almost adopted already. The look on her face made Holly wonder if Gail was still in agony over that.

"But you want a baby?"

"I kind of want _our_ baby," she admitted.

"It doesn't matter how it comes into the world, Gail, it will be ours."

Gail frowned and let her head fall back onto the arm of the couch. "What's his IQ?"

"Who? Bruce?"

"Your cousin's name is Bruce? Fuck no. I thought your mom's family had that whole stupid flower name thing, which we're _not_ doing, by the way."

Holly found herself laughing and she got up. "Scoot in," she ordered, wedging herself in alongside Gail, who did readily make room. "He's my dad's brother's. Bruce is his middle name. Robert Bruce Stewart."

Wrapping her arms around Holly, Gail settled them in a close, comfortable, position. "Could you get more Scottish?"

"Probably. But Bobby is my dad and Robert is my great uncle and-"

"I swear, Holly, it's flowers or those stupid seven names and they keep reusing them. I'm not naming our child Robert, Helen, any variation of Mary, Marion, Mary Anne, or Rebecca. Or Mark, Marcus, or Marko."

"That was only five," teased Holly.

"Fine. Or Albert or Tim." Gail had actually memorized all the common names on both sides of Holly's tree. More to the point, she'd made fun of all of them.

"Just as long as we're being clear." Holly smiled. "I don't want to name a baby after most of your relatives either."

"My relatives are generally horrible," agreed Gail readily. "Oh shit..."

"Hm?"

"My mom is going to flip."

After all the initial stress of meeting Elaine Peck, which didn't happen until she'd moved back to Toronto, Holly had found the woman to be surprisingly nice. Very demanding and insistent, but nice. Holly hadn't expected nice. She'd expected stern and hard. She had not expected Elaine to thank her for helping Gail move forward.

"Elaine will be very happy to be a grandmother," she said knowingly.

"From her daughter and her lesbian lover?"

There was something about how Gail phrased it that surprised Holly. "As opposed to...?"

"Her husband. Or wife."

"You think your mother cares if we're married?" Holly was surprised at the droll look from her girlfriend. "I think you're exaggerating, Gail," she laughed.

"Fine. You tell her."

* * *

A few nights later at the next Peck Family Dinner, Elaine asked if anything was new and Holly remarked that she and Gail were talking about having a baby. As Gail had predicted, Elaine lost her cool because they just dating. No matter how much Holly argued that they shared the mortgage, or that they were serious, Elaine was adamant. There was going to be marriage and _then_ a baby.

Within a week, there was a wedding being planned, regardless of what Holly or Gail said.

"This is stupid," she muttered to Gail as Elaine texted them another possible venue. "We're not even engaged!"

Gail reached over and looked at Holly's phone. "I think bringing your phone into the bedroom is stupid, but you keep doing it." She texted back for Elaine to stop or she'd send her photos of what they were doing.

That brat. "Gail!" Holly snatched the phone back and saw only a message from Elaine that she was sorry she'd raised Gail to be a pain in the ass. "You are in so much trouble," growled Holly, tossing her phone onto the nightstand.

"We should get engaged," yawned Gail, stretching over the bed. "What's Peter's IQ?"

"Bruce's? I have no idea." Holly frowned at Gail. "We should get engaged?"

The blonde made a noise of agreement. "Yeah. I mean, if I'm willing to let you knock me up, I probably should marry you." Gail paused and looked up. "You're not going to bail out on me the night before, are you?"

Hesitantly, Holly asked, "Is that what Nick did?"

Gail looked surprised. "Have we never talked about it?"

"Honestly, I never wanted to bring it up." How did you ask your girlfriend about a failed engagement.

"It's kind of embarrassing," she admitted. "Nick and I got drunk at the casino in Niagara. I won big at poker and ended up in some high stakes game where they flew us to Vegas for the finals. I told Nick I'd marry him if I came in top ten." She paused and laughed. "I did, we had an _insane_ party with all the people there, hotel gave us the honeymoon suite, and I woke up sans Nick."

Holly took all that in. "Sorry, can you go back to the part where you were in an international high stakes poker game?"

Laughing, Gail leaned across the bed to kiss her. "I'm _very_ good at poker, as it turns out."

"Do you count cards?" Holly was suddenly excited in a new way, marveling at the idea of her girlfriend being a card shark. She could totally get even with Lisa that way...

"Nah, I read tells. Peck." Gail smirked and lay back down. "Sucks for Nick, though. I ended up going to Europe on my own, and he went to sandy Afghanistan."

That did suck for Nick, Holly agreed. "So. You proposed to Nick?"

Gail eyed Holly. "Are you angling for a ring? I didn't get Nick one."

Giggling, Holly put her glasses on the nightstand and turned off the light. "I do. I want a pretty ring with a gem and a platinum band."

"How about my grandmother's ring? From the old country, when great, great, whatever, grandpa Peck proposed to the daughter of the town police chief? And that is why Pecks are police, you know."

"Is that a true story?"

"Nah, it's an Art Deco ring from the 20s that I think my great granddad got in New York. They did it out of order. Got married, after three kids went to New York for a honeymoon, bought the engagement ring."

"That's sort of romantic. And we're doing that," sighed Holly, wistfully.

Gail rolled to her side and cupped Holly's face, drawing her close to kiss. "That ring? It's in my nightstand right now, because Dad said you're the girl who wants a ring," whispered Gail.

Holly scoffed at Gail, her face curving into an incredulous expression. "Seriously?" After another kiss, Gail reached back and opened her nightstand drawer. "Wait! Wait, you're not seriously proposing to me while we're in bed?"

"Why not? You decided to knock me up on the couch," laughed Gail, fumbling and finally finding what she wanted. "Give me your hand."

Making a fist, Holly shook her head. "No. Not until you're pregnant."

There was a pause from the other side of the bed. "Let me get this right. You want me to get pregnant, _then_ we get engaged, and _then_ we get married?"

"When you put it that way..." Holly groaned and sighed. "I'm going to say yes, you know."

"I had hoped," laughed Gail. The drawer closed. "I put the ring away, sweetheart." Gail reached over and brushed her fingers along Holly's cheek.

"I want to do things in our order, not your mother's," she complained, pressing her face to Gail's neck. "I want to have you here. To be here. I don't want her, or anyone else, to push us."

It had been, after all, a long two years to get there. It had been a loss for them both at first, with Holly in San Francisco trying to master a new job and Gail in Toronto trying to master the system. Then they'd both lost again. Holly lost first, being fired for the first time in her life. Oh they called it downsizing, that they were just letting go of people and she was the last in. But she knew they truth was that her heart had been nearly 3000 miles away the whole time she'd been there. Gail lost second. A single cop with a suspension who was too close to the case was, well, too close to the case. Everything she'd done to be ready for it, from moving out and buying her own place to knuckling down for the detective's rotation, all in order to be able to be a parent, had come crashing down. Except the house. That worked out, but it was a house that was too big for one broken hearted blonde cop.

When Holly told her she was coming back to Toronto, jobless, Gail suggested she just move in. After all, they'd had a tenuous long distance thing, caught in the middle between friends and lovers, terrified to break it all again by moving back to the lovers but too close to really be just friends. Holly had declined, selling everything she could and sleeping at Rachel's until she could figure out what to do. But she knew without a doubt that she needed to be in Toronto again, she needed to be near Gail and her family and friends.

And she'd dated Gail. They started at the batting cages, which was Gail's idea, and progressed to dinners and movies and finally, again, drinks with Holly's friends. Weirdly, Lisa was the most apologetic to Gail about everything. She took one look at Gail's newly dark hair and said she was sorry for being a bitch. Gail admitted she made a shitty first impression and told them about how she wanted to arrest Holly when they first met.

That night went much better. They got to see the underside of the prickly cactus that was Gail Peck, and Gail saw two women who wanted to protect Holly as best they could. And they all saw their own faults and took the blame for being bad introductory lesbians. It wasn't until a few nights later that Gail confessed she and Lisa had been going out for drinks ever since Holly left Toronto, and were actually kind of friends now. They both appreciated the bitch in the other.

Moving in happened six months later, after Holly was able to take a position at the crime lab far below her pay grade and after they got caught making out in the coat closet at Andy and Sam's wedding. Once Traci and Steve stopped teasing them, Holly agreed to move in with Gail. But that had been a long six months where Holly heard about her stupidity from Rachel and Lisa. They thought she should have moved in right away since everyone knew the two were in love.

But love wasn't always enough. Sometimes you needed more.

"Holly, you're a nitwit," sighed Gail, kissing her.

"What?" She blinked and tried to focus in the dark.

"I love you. I don't care if we marry or not. If you want to be engaged after I'm barefoot in the kitchen, I'll do it. If you want me to walk on my hands through the squad room, I'll do it. I'll do anything if it means I have you here. Fuck my mom. What makes _you_ happy?"

Holly smiled softly. "You do."

Gail snorted and shifted until Holly was settled on her shoulder. "I want to have a baby with you."

"Me too."

"Okay then," sighed Gail. "Let's get me pregnant."

* * *

Trying to get Gail pregnant without letting anyone know proved to be complicated. First Gail insisted on meeting cousin Bruce. He was also a doctor, specializing in pediatric cancer, which gave him points. He was dark skinned and dark haired, just like Holly. And he was short. Very short. Barely five feet tall. But that wasn't why he was down-voted as a donor.

No, he was given the boot because, when Holly asked if he and his wife were planning children, he said they were going to adopt because he was infertile. At home, Gail had laughed hysterically about the reveal. That he was perfect in pretty much every way and still totally unsuitable hit Gail's funny bone. They could only be grateful that Gail was able to wait until they got home for the giggles to hit.

That began a new series of problems. They went through every male on Holly's side of the family. They looked through donor books. They considered adoption. And they argued. Oh, how they argued. But since they'd decided to do this without telling anyone, they had no one to unburden themselves on.

"It doesn't have to look like me," argued Holly.

"Yes it does! God, damn it why can't science be better so we don't need stupid boys?!"

That outburst broke the dam and Holly cracked. She was laughing so hard she was crying because Gail was livid that _science_ hadn't caught up to them. Gail insisted it wasn't funny at all, but the more Holly laughed, the harder it was for her not to smirk. Finally Gail fractured and they were both laughing on the living room floor. That led to Gail pulling the laughing Holly on top of her, holding her close and whispering that she just wanted Holly to be able to look at the baby and see herself. It was so sweet that the laughter stopped.

"Gail," she whispered back and pushed herself up. Holding herself over Gail, Holly looked into the bright blue eyes.

The blonde reached up to cup Holly's face. "I know it's unreasonable. But it's what _I_ want," sighed Gail.

Holly had no possible reply to that and kissed Gail slowly. There weren't words for it, there was no way to explain how deeply touched she was by what Gail wanted for them. The kiss quickly became more than just an expression of understanding. Gail's hands gripped Holly's shirt, untucking it and getting her fingers on Holly's skin.

They didn't actually manage to get undressed, but they did get hands into pants and up shirts. Holly wanted to show Gail how much it meant to her. She wanted Gail to understand that Holly was so thankful for all the failures in the universe that managed to bring them together despite the adversity. Instead of rambling, Holly let her lips and fingers draw out the fire from Gail, spread it across her limbs, and burn them both.

It was a fire Holly would walk into willingly forever and ever.

The breakthrough happened at two in the morning on a Saturday after a long day of work. Gail had caught a murder and Holly, finally working with pathology again, joined her on the case. The detective in charge being Traci made it a family affair, but it wasn't until very late that they were able to call it a day. Andy, Gail's partner that day, took them out for burgers and Irish milkshakes, explaining she and Dov had found the place the night Ford was taken down. And then Andy asked what Gail had done that night, only to have Gail erupt with laughter.

Finally at two AM they were home and showered and a little wired, so Gail decided they should watch mindless television on the couch. That was when the episode of _Friends_ came on and Gail got the giggles as they tuned in right when Phoebe's brother ran in shouting "Chandler's a girl!"

Holly couldn't remember the episode, so Gail explained that Frank Buffay Jr.'s wife was in her forties and Phoebe acted as their surrogate, carrying Alice's eggs.

And they stared at each other. "Holly, how healthy are _your_ eggs?"

* * *

Turned out Holly's eggs were kind of awesome, as Gail put it.

Surrogacy was going to run them at least $20k, which was much less awesome. Had Holly not quit and then lost her job and just spent a year being paid peanuts, they would have been alright. Had Gail not bought a house and tried to adopt Sophie, they would have been alright. But they were not financially in great shape at the moment. They weren't broke, or even poor, but $20k was a lot. A hell of a lot.

They started small. Gail took extra shifts at work and Holly picked up ER shifts at St. Pats. They cut down expenses and stopped going to the Penny. They stopped eating out. Gail's friends asked if everything was alright at home, but only Traci and Noelle seemed to have an idea what was going on. They showed up one night, a rare night Gail wasn't working, and waylaid her. Once let in on the secret, the two women offered to help. Traci swore not to tell anyone Peck or Peck-adjacent, while Noelle made sure Gail caught some easy extra shifts. They both talked Gail up come promotion time, which helped.

It was a race against the marriage clock, though. Elaine was starting to get serious and try as they might to avoid it, they knew that by the end of the next year, they'd have to get serious.

Lisa was their savior.

Lisa figured out the only reason why Holly would be working with the living, something she detested, was for money. The only reason Holly might want money was for an illness (which she'd have told her friends about), cosmetic surgery (which she'd have told Lisa about), or pregnancy. And Lisa went to find a doctor she knew to help them out. All it took was finding the right one who could cut them a bit of a deal (wheels greased by Lisa volunteering some plastic work for children in need) and suddenly Holly was having her eggs checked out for viability.

They'd decided not to talk to Steve until the status of Holly's eggs was known. So when that came up clear and perfect, Gail had Traci bring Steve over. They talked about how to break it to him gently, how to ease him into the idea, but then...

"Steven. I need your sperm."

He stared at his sister. "Are you joking? I thought you were going to carry the baby, no offense Holly."

"I am," confirmed Gail. "Holly's eggs, your sperm, my uterus."

"That is gross," grimaced Steve. "My spunk in your junk?"

"No, you're not getting that anywhere near me. But you're going to put it in a plastic cup for me and the doctor's going to put that into Holly's egg- oh and you can't tell Mom."

"No." Steve shook his head and started to stand up, only to have Traci shove him back down.

"Yes," Traci said firmly.

Betrayed, Steve looked up. "Mom will _kill_ me!"

Holly smiled. It was like watching her sisters fight. "Tell her it's parthenogenesis." When Steve eyed her, Holly explained, "Magic pregnancy without boys."

"Is that even possible?" Steve was skeptical.

Shrugging, Holly leaned forward. "Steve. Please."

It was the please that got him. Later on, years later when he was babysitting, he admitted that the please broke his heart. To see his sister so adamant and then to have Holly just ask him for one, simple, thing... There was no way he could say no.

Mind, what he said at the time was, "I have _no_ idea how I'm gonna do this while thinking about you two."

"You jerk off thinking about me, Steven, and I'm just going to cut you open for your donation."

With Steve suitably threatened and on board, they started the next steps. Steve made a sample contribution at the doctor's office and got the go ahead for his part. His sperm was great. Gail gagged at that news though Traci looked rather interested at Steve from then on. Next was Holly's turn, and surprisingly, it was Gail who geeked out about the ovarian hyperstimulation. She found the process of tracking Holly's cycle while making the eggs overproduce (mildly, they wanted to keep the drugs to a minimum) was kind of cool. Science had its moments after all, though Gail still wished they could do it without Steve involved at all.

Gail also had no problem with giving Holly injections twice a day, though for some reason both Noelle and Traci insisted on being there the first few times. Since it was medical by nature, Rachel and Lisa joined them.

"I know I'm a lesbian, but I really don't like this many women ogling my ass," muttered Holly as five women discussed the right way to stick her with a needle.

But they eventually sorted it all out so it didn't hurt her at all, which Holly was grateful for, and time moved on to the next step. As they got further along, Gail started her hormone injections. She was less keen on getting stuck with a needle than poking Holly, arguing that they could just keep having sex to keep her uterus excited about the idea of a baby. The doctor found the whole thing amusing and said they could (and should) keep having sex, but the odds would be better if they did the injections too.

Holly, on a very mild IVF treatment, was pleased she didn't suffer from the normal symptoms of a lack of libido or hot flashes. On the other hand, Gail? Well the hormones did a number on her. The sex joke was less of a joke when they got caught making out in the back of their own car by Elaine. She desperately wanted Holly, pretty much every day, which was just fine.

That said, they set up rules for sex and making out, involving the words 'Not where Elaine might show up without having to knock.'

Finally Holly was on her back in the doctor's office, holding Gail's hand while the eggs were retrieved. Her part of the work was done, theoretically, and she watched her eggs be sucked out by a needle. Gail muttered that it was cool. Holly agreed, but was incredibly relieved when she heard that they'd retrieved five eggs and all were in great shape. The eggs were whisked off to meet Steve's sperm, donated that same visit. He still complained it was incredibly unsexy and the doctor won all their hearts by telling Steve that the quality of his sperm would not be impacted by the ickyness of thinking about the fact that his sister was going to be pregnant.

When the general anesthetic wore off, Holly was surprised at the swelling and the ache. Gail pampered her, coddling her on the couch and massaging her feet. They cuddled while Holly felt woozy and she fell asleep in Gail's arms. She barely woke up when Gail helped her up the stairs to bed.

The next morning she felt tired and a little sore, but incredibly normal. They had a whole weekend of nothing, no work and no injections, by plan. Holly needed the rest, and Gail knew she would too for her part. It was the first weekend in months that was just them and quiet and peace.

Monday rolled around and the doctor's office called to say everything looked good for the eggs, so it was Gail's turn. Day five, the blastocyst was transferred to Gail. And they waited. Two weeks. Two long, tense, weeks. Holly was the tense one, fretting over everything and anything. But the end of two weeks, she had to let Gail go to the checkup without her, because she had caught a case. You couldn't rush science, Holly knew that, but she checked her phone so many times that Swarek started to ask if she was waiting on a call.

Instead it was a text from Gail as she drove home. One word. Three letters. Yes.

She managed to beat Gail home and dug out the box from Gail's nightstand. There was a box, as it happened. Gail hadn't been kidding about that. The ring _was_ Art Deco and beautiful. The band was ornate around a square diamond flanked by two small triangle shaped sapphires on each side. She slid the ring on, unsurprised that it fit. Gail had probably had it resized.

Gail spotted the ring on her hand the moment she came in and rolled her eyes. "You know we don't _have_ to get married just because you finally got a girl pregnant," teased Gail, putting the takeout on the counter.

That night she made love to Gail slowly and sweetly. Holly hadn't expected to feel that protective about her, to be that desirous of her. She had to hold her fiancée and adore her. So she lavished attention on the other woman, taking her time at each erogenous zone. Holly loved having her neck kissed and Gail loved kissing it, but the blonde squirmed any time there was breath on her own neck. Instead, she let her lips trail down Gail's collarbone while her hands counted ribs and caressed hip bones, trying to explain in the actions just how much she was in love.

The ring wasn't missed by Elaine and Bill any more than by Holly's own parents. Her mother joked that she'd never seen anyone get everything so out of order. And she didn't even know about the baby yet. At three weeks it was still a secret to almost everyone. The five other people who knew were keeping their secrets well, it seemed, but it helped that Gail's only outward sign of pregnancy was a slight change to her curves. Maybe Holly saw it because she watched Gail every night, but the change came to her face first, rounding a little, and then the hips. The boobs came third.

It was the boobs that tripped them up at month two. At first, Gail was just plain exhausted. All the time. She'd come home from shift and nap right away. A week on the night shift made her crankier than ever before, and grumpier too. Then her boobs hurt. Normally she liked when Holly played with them, but they were now a no-touch zone. Then they became amazing breasts. Holly had never thought of herself as that much of a breast woman until she found herself staring at Gail one afternoon. Lisa teased the hell out of her about it.

The boobs were, thus far, the only pain point. There had been no weird cravings or morning sickness. A new bra size later, Gail found the tenderness fading which put the ladies back in play for Holly, which _she_ definitely appreciated. Her appreciation was not unnoticed. Elaine stared at Gail all through the chat pre dinner and the moment Gail declined a drink rounded on Holly. "Holly Elizabeth Stewart! How dare you impregnable my daughter before the wedding!"

Both Gail and Steve found it hilarious.

"I may not want to know this," sighed Bill as he poured a glass of wine for himself. "Who's the father?"

Impishly, Gail picked up her water. "Steve."

That brought down holy hell until they explained the entire situation. And Elaine was livid that she hadn't been told. "Damn it, we could have helped!"

The money that had been shunted away for a wedding was suddenly moved to baby gear. The wedding was scaled down (thank god) to a simple backyard affair at their own house and sped up to the next month. No mention was made about the pregnancy, which still wasn't really showing much. Only Oliver seemed to clue in, mentioning how radiant marriage made Gail, but he couldn't believe she had the balls to wear white.

The honeymoon was simply a night and a day at a hotel, complete with spa treatments, and then a few days off at a professionally cleaned home. The best surprise was the baby's room being kitted out completely by Holly's parents. The off white walls were painted with a warm, light green trim, trees, birds, and blue skies. It was beautiful, gender neutral, and a load off Holly's mind. They had a genetic scan done, to ease their own minds, and Gail's only complaints were about her need to pee (frequent _Top Gun_ jokes were made), her supersonic sense of smell (and Gerald's antipathy towards showers after the gym), and the fact that some foods were unpalatable now. Including cheeseburgers. Gail hated that.

By month four, Holly could see the bump. It didn't show much, not under Gail's uniform, but at home you could see it. Especially when her shirt rode up on the couch. Holly was fascinated by it. She barely remembered her mother being pregnant with her little sister, and certainly she'd never watched with this close attention. The baby bump became her new, favorite, thing. She loved to rest her hands on it, to caress it, and much to her wife's amusement, Holly loved to talk to it.

Month five was when the world started to sort out Gail was pregnant.

"You should lay off the cheese puffs, there, Gail," joked Nick.

"You will _never_ make detective," Gail shook her head and handed Holly her gear bag.

"I'm just saying you're putting on a bit of weight there."

Gail slowly turned to her ex and narrowed her eyes. "Don't worry, it'll be gone in about four months." Watching the light dawn on Nick was actually funny. Holly suddenly understood why Gail loved pulling the rug out from under people. "There you go, Nicky," smiled Gail, patting his cheek.

The division arranged the baby shower for them. Most people marveled that Gail was really almost six months pregnant and showed so little. The way she dressed, you just couldn't really tell unless you were right there looking at her naked, which meant Holly was the only one who really knew how pregnant Gail was.

Now that they weren't working so much to pay for the medical bills (thank you, grandparents to be), Holly got to spend more time lying down, watching the baby bump and watching Gail.

"It's creepy," Gail informed her one night. "You're just staring at my stomach."

"There's a little Peck in there is all," mused Holly. She was supposedly reading a journal but all she could think about was that baby Peck was going to start kicking any day now.

"You sure about that? I'm okay with Stewart."

"I'm sure," Holly said firmly. "Unless the kid pops out and just _looks_ Stewart."

"Fair enough," laughed Gail, and she shifted with a grimace. "My back is killing me."

Without a second thought, Holly was out of bed and fetching another pillow for her. "You know, you're incredibly lucky."

"Because I have a willing slave?"

"Because you're having an insanely easy pregnancy."

Gail snorted. "The universe owes me, Holly. It owes us. We got pregnant on the first go, I've kept my looks, and besides some food that now smells horrible, yes, I'm having a great time being pregnant." She held out her hands and Holly gave over the pillow. "Not that, nitwit. Come here."

Obligingly, Holly sat down beside Gail. "What?"

Taking Holly's hand, Gail put it on her stomach. "Say something."

"What?"

Gail rolled her eyes. "Tell me about your last case." Frowning, Holly did, letting Gail lead her own with questions about things, until there was a sudden flutter under her hand. Holly stopped mid sentence. She'd felt Gail's abs rippling before, usually after sex, but this was different... this was another person. "It's not really kicks yet," grinned Gail, amused.

Her eyes felt huge. "That's ... There's a person in there," she hissed at Gail.

"You sure you're a doctor?"

"Shut up." Holly stared at her hand. "Why did it stop?"

"It likes when you ramble," sighed Gail. "Swimming like mad this morning when you went on and on about that idiot at work." That had been a phone call conversation.

Holly grinned and leaned forward. "You know. Studies show that talking to the fetus is more helpful for the father to bond with the baby than the other way around. They really can't hear you until the seventh month and we actually do know exactly when you got pregnant so-" And there it went again. The baby was clearly moving under her hand. "Okay, this is cool, Gail. What does it feel like?"

"Weird," admitted Gail, covering Holly's hands with her own. "You know how when you have indigestion and your stomach does things without asking permission?" When Holly nodded, Gail stroked the back of her hand with her thumb. "Like that, but not as unpleasant."

That did sound weird. Holly kissed the baby bump, which made Gail laugh and the baby turn again. "God, I hope sex doesn't bother it," realized Holly.

Gail sighed. "Not yet, but I gotta tell you, junior here is sucking up all my energy." She gently caressed Holly's hand again.

Leaving her hand in place, Holly snuggled up along side Gail. "Whatever makes you happy. You're the one doing all the hard work."

* * *

The mood swings had been pretty mild, probably because Gail had those anyway. The backaches got worse, as did the stretch marks, but Holly found she loved massaging lotion into her wife and cuddling. The exhaustion was the hardest part, resulting in a sound asleep Gail on the couch most nights, waking up a million times to pee, and never really getting all the sleep she wanted.

But then there were the afternoons where Gail was in the cradle of Holly's arms, their bodies curved around each other, and Holly rested her hand on Gail's stomach, talking to the baby. That was how she, not Gail, felt the first significant kick.

She was still marveling at it when the next one came, waking Gail up. "Crap," grunted Gail.

"What a wonderful thing to say about your child kicking," laughed Holly, and the kid kicked again.

"Its kicking my goddamned bladder, Holly," snapped Gail, struggling to her feet and stomping off to the bathroom.

Holly lay on her back on the couch, staring at her hand. She had felt their baby kick. Theirs. It was genetically her child. That had been so important to Gail and now that she was thinking about meeting the baby in a few short months, it felt important to Holly too. At first she thought that as long as it was part of their lives, she'd be happy, but seeing Gail pregnant and knowing she was a part of it in so many ways made her happy in an unexpected way.

"You're lucky I love you," sighed Gail, coming back to the couch.

"I know I am," agreed Holly. "You're amazing."

Mollified, Gail pressed a hand to her lower back, stretching slowly. "I can't figure why people do this more than once. It's not comfortable." There was something different to her tone, though. "My back hurts."

"Come here, I'll rub it for you."

She had the nagging feeling that Gail's luck and ease with the pregnancy was about to be over.

* * *

"I hate you," snapped Gail with an actual burst of venom and bite. "And both of you too," she snarled at Holly's sisters.

As the three watched Gail stomp upstairs, Heather put her drink down. "Holly, why is Gail being such a bitch?"

Rose slapped the back of Heather's head. "You can rethink that question when you get pregnant." The mother of two, Rose had been more understanding of the growing frustration in Gail lately.

"What? She's just pregnant!" This time, both Holly and Rose smacked her head.

"All the brains in the family just missed you, didn't they?" Rose shook her head and picked up her purse.

Rubbing her head and moving out of range, Heather scowled. "Yeah well at least I have melon."

Holly snorted. "Melanin, you moron. God I'm glad you're not a boy, or we would have asked you for a donation."

"Yeah that's still gross. Her brother's baby!"

"My egg," sighed Holly. They'd had this argument before. "I'll call you later, Rose," she promised and hugged her older sister.

"Go take care of her. That's your job now," reminded Rose, squeezing Holly tight. "Come on, Short Bus Stewart."

Once the Stewart siblings were gone, Holly tidied up and headed to the bedroom. Gail was curled up on the bed, her face red, hugging a pillow and just crying. She hesitated. This was going to be ugly. Silently, Holly sat on the edge of the bed and brushed Gail's hair out of her face. Her wife was sticky. Well, it was summer.

"Want to tell me?"

"Its hot," sniffled Gail. "Everything hurts. I can't walk down the fucking hall without running out of breath, my ankles are swollen, I'm exhausted, I'm fat, I have to pee _all_ the time, everything smells, I'm stuck at a desk, and everyone and their mother wants to touch me." Gail's voice hit a wail at that point and Holly rubbed her back.

It was probably the first and last that were pissing her off the most. "Okay, honey," she said softly, letting Gail cry it out. Mood swings. What fun. Holly softly kissed Gail's forehead as she hiccuped to a stop. "I'll be right back."

Gail nodded and hugged the pillow more, worn and drained.

Closing all the windows, Holly turned the air conditioning on as well as a fan on low. Then she went to the kitchen and got some water and the Chinese leftovers. Bringing it back up on a tray, Holly cajoled Gail into sitting up and the two ate the leftovers quietly. Once fed, Gail's mood improved slightly. At least to the point where she was willing to take a shower and cool off the rest of the way.

That left it to Holly to clean up the dishes and she came back to find Gail under the sheets, bare shouldered, facing the bathroom. They'd switched sides of the bed so Gail could be closer to her regular destination. "Come here?" Gail looked so tired and wistful.

"Feeling a little better?" She smiled when Gail nodded a bit. "Want company or do you just need to cool off and rest?"

"Company," smiled Gail, sleepily. She was almost always tired lately.

Holly kissed her forehead again and went to shower before getting under the covers and stroking her wife's back. "I wish I could make it better," she sighed, trying to sooth Gail and let her sleep.

"You do." Gail exhaled heavily and then rolled over to look at Holly. "Why are you wearing a shirt?"

"Because it's six? I figured you wanted a nap and I'd get dinner sorted."

But Gail took her hand and kissed her palm. "Yeah. But why a shirt?"

"Because ... Oh." Holly smiled and kissed her softly. "Because I'm stupid."

"Heather is stupid," corrected Gail. She tugged at Holly's shirt, pushing it up to get at the skin below. "You're just slow sometimes." Gail's fingers lit a fire, searing her right to her core, and Holly sighed.

She couldn't fix everything. There was at least six more weeks of pregnancy to suffer through, and people would only get worse. But she could, just for a while, make Gail forget about all of that. She could make her wife think only about how it felt to be loved and cherished and sexy, even when all those annoying things remained true. So she sat up, divesting herself of shirt and glasses, and set about showing Gail how she still felt, how she would feel tomorrow, and tomorrow and tomorrow.

After, as Gail dozed in post-orgasmic comfort, Holly ran her hand over swell of the blonde's stomach. She carried the baby small, joking it made her look like she had a beer belly more than a baby bump, but it was noticeable to pretty much everyone. Her belly button had not yet popped and the baby not dropped, but junior Peck was moving more and more.

As Holly resting her palm on Gail's belly, she whispered, "Hey in there. I promise she likes yelling like that." The endorphin rush from orgasms, in theory, were good for the baby, though privately Holly thought people were just making things up at that point. It's not like you could ask the baby. "But you need to be nicer. I know you're running out of room, but kicking her all the time is making it hard to get rest, and she needs it. When you get out of there, I promise you and me are going to spend some quality time together."

Of course, junior may have been happy, but he (or she) was still moving a lot. A bump from within caused Gail's belly to ripple. Holly smiled. She had yet to get tired of seeing or feeling that. As she watched, she saw a small bump rise from inside. A foot or a hand. With a broad grin, Holly ran a finger over it.

"What the hell are you two doing?" Grumbling sleepily, Gail squinted at her.

"I'm looking at a foot. Maybe a hand. Possibly a butt."

Gail looked down at her stomach. "Whatever it is, the other end's on my bladder. Again." She squirmed off the bed and sighed loudly, heading into the bathroom. "I'm tired of peeing, Holly. And I want a beer."

"You can have a glass of wine at dinner," offered Holly, stretching out on the bed.

"Yay," groaned Gail. "I'm taking a shower."

Holly sighed and closed her eyes. "We should think of a name," she said over the sound of the shower.

"I like Gail," her wife called back.

"Maybe we should know the sex first."

"I like sex."

Holly rolled her eyes, "Gail, be serious!"

The water turned off and Gail was smiling when she came back out. "Okay. Fine. Does the baby's sex matter, Holly? Does it matter if it's a boy or a girl or intersexed or gay or straight or bi or a hundred other things?" She sat on Holly's side of the bed. "The baby's healthy. The amnio was good. The ultrasound is great. My bloodwork is phenomenal." Gail leaned down and kissed Holly slowly. "And I like sex. With you."

Later, when Holly was capable of thoughts beyond 'Gail Pretty' and 'Sex Good,' she reflected on just how wonderful life was. Definitely the sex was amazing. Gail's libido was up thanks to the pregnancy, and the number of times she'd worn Holly out in the last two months were countless. She loved the way Gail touched her, the way her hands always, reverently, coaxed sensations from every part of Holly's body. The way her mouth moved against Holly's skin. The way her tongue and very breath made Holly dissemble in anticipation.

"You're good at that," she sighed, her voice light and breathy.

"I learned from the best," Gail replied, smugly.

She couldn't open her eyes, she was just too languid. "I was trying to make you relax," yawned Holly. Her whole body was heavy, sinking into the bed.

Gail made an amused noise and pulled the blanket up over them. "I am relaxed," she promised and kissed Holly's shoulder. "Junior is relaxed. You are definitely relaxed."

"You're supposed to fall asleep after orgasms like that," lamented Holly.

"I would, if you didn't taste so good." Gail snuggled under the blanket, fitting her belly into the nest of Holly's waist. They'd found the flare of her hips was the perfect size for it, and Holly felt the baby move when they slept like that. "It's a good thing you're curvy, you nerd."

She wanted to fire back a retort, but all Holly managed to do was a lopsided, far too sleepy, smile as she gave up the fight with wakefulness. After all, once the kid was born, there wouldn't be a whole hell of a lot of sleeping.

* * *

The kid was born two weeks early.

In retrospect, Holly should have known. The night before, Gail had complained about heartburn and lamented that the kid had ruined yet another of her favorite foods. The list of food junior hated had grown to include fried chicken, anything Thai, and of all things, cheese puffs. Gail was livid over the last one. But they'd thought it was just another new food for Gail to avoid during pregnancy and Holly went to work.

At lunch time, Gail texted her to say she was in labor and Steve was taking her to the hospital. He'd been over for lunch after all. Holly could not remember getting out of the office or the drive to the hospital. What she remembered was skidding up to the private room to see her wife holding their baby. Nursing.

"I missed the birth?" Holly was horrified.

"She popped right out," soothed Steve, calming her down before she went in the room. "They didn't even get her upstairs."

"She?"

"Yeah, it's a girl," her brother in law grinned. "Congratulations, Mom."

She nodded and took a deep breath. She had a daughter. A little girl. Oh god.

"Steven," snapped a voice from in the room. Gail was annoyed and Holly laughed at the normalcy of it. "This kid needs a name, so let her in."

Holly slipped under Steve's arm and shyly smiled as she stepped up to the bed. "Didn't make it upstairs?"

"Nope," smiled Gail. She patted the side of the bed and Holly gingerly sat down. "Hey." Holly kissed her wife first and then looked down at the baby. "So this thing happened," she laughed.

"So I see." Holly's hand shook as she reached over to touch the baby's check. "Oh my god, Gail. Who let us do this? There should be laws!"

The infant let go of Gail's nipple and the blonde carefully burped her. "There aren't, surprisingly. Here."

Holly stared at Gail for a moment and shook her head. "I'm not ready," she whispered.

"You're about an hour too late for that, woman. Now. Hold your daughter."

Without any more pomp, Gail deposited the infant girl into Holly's arms. The eyes looked up at her in unfocused confusion, lips smacking. They were blue eyes, but that didn't mean much in a newborn. The skin was already darker than Gail's, which didn't mean much either. The hair was dark, again, meant nothing at all. All those things changed with newborns.

But there in the shape of a newborn face, Holly saw pieces of herself.

She had thought she'd understood, before, why Gail was so adamant of finding the right donor. Why it was so important to have the child a part of Holly, genetically. Now she really understood. If they were going to do this, if they were going to have the trouble of conceiving and carrying a baby, it should be theirs in as many possible ways.

"Karen," she said to the baby.

"I thought you wanted Katherine."

"Everyone will think it's after you, Abigail Katherine with a K Peck."

Gail rolled her eyes. "No one calls me that, you doofus."

It was hard not to look at the baby. The warm little bundle was snuggled against her, quiet and soft. "Your mother does."

"Rarely." That was true. Elaine had only called Gail by her full name a few times in the years Holly had known them all. Steven Francis Peck got his a lot more. And even Elaine avoided the use of Abigail. She told Holly that Bill had picked the name and never liked it.

"Is it okay I picked the name?"

"It's not too late to do Katherine Elizabeth Peck." Holly blinked. Both their middle names? She looked up. Gail was smiling. "Yeah, yeah, I think that's good. Baby Girl Peck is pretty silly."

It made her feel sappy and warm inside. She sniffled. "Damn it, I'm about to cry and I can't wipe my face."

Of course Gail laughed. "Please! Kate's tiny. You can fit her in one arm and blow your nose, you nitwit." She held over a box of Kleenex.

"Already shortening the name?" Holly blew her nose and dabbed her eyes, but she kept crying. "God, I don't know what's wrong with me."

"Your sexy wife had your baby," explained Gail, amused.

"Can I start calling people who aren't a mom?" Steve waggled his phone at them. "Starting with of course Mom and my girlfriend."

"Who are Moms," smiled Gail. "Sure, but come here and meet your niece first."

Steve pulled a chair over and peered into Holly's arms. "Katherine, huh? She's got some skin color thank god." Gail slapped his arm. "Man, Traci's gonna want one."

"You should think about it, before she remembers what a bitch pregnancy is." Gail rested a hand on Holly's leg, content to sit like that. "Call Holly's parents, too, okay? Before Traci."

Her brother promised to do so, kissing each of their foreheads before leaving to make those calls. The nurse came back in, putting a wrist band around Holly, checking the vitals, and explaining to Holly that Gail and the baby had to stay for two days. Holly could honestly say she didn't hear a bit of that, as Gail had to remind her twice when the guests started to file in.

Everyone wanted to peek at the baby; few risked the wrath of Peck to ask to hold the baby. The grandparents were an exception, all four taking turns cradling the baby and getting photos. Steve, forced by Traci, also held the baby for a while, just long enough for Holly's sisters to complain _they_ wanted to hold their niece too.

Baby Kate didn't seem to mind any of it, but she started to stretch and smack her lips. "Okay," said Holly, remembering med school at last. "Someone's about to be hungry." She took Kate back from Oliver and watched as Gail settled their daughter for another round of feeding.

By the time the hordes were gone, her sisters having left a bag of fresh clothes for Holly, Gail was sound asleep. The nurses kept trying to take Kate away to put in a bassinet and Gail kept insisting that wasn't happening. That meant sleeping Gail had sleeping Kate tucked into the crook of her arm. Holly sat in a chair along side, watching them sleep.

She wondered what a baby could be dreaming about, only hours old with but one major life experience to her name. She wondered what Gail was dreaming of, having had one of the most common and difficult to comprehend experiences of anyone's life. An entire person had been formed within her. While Holly had asked how things felt, she'd answered, but Holly wasn't sure she really understood it. And now she wondered if she was wrong, having been so adamant about not giving birth. There was a miracle that had happened.

"Why are you over there?" Gail's voice was thick and tired, her eyes closed.

"Didn't want to wake you two."

Gail opened her eyes and looked at the baby, sound asleep, in her arms. "Stupid." She shifted over and patted behind her.

Nothing to be done there. Holly kicked off her shoes and curled up behind Gail, wrapping an arm around her waist and tucking the other under her own head. Gail promptly took the hand and brought up to rest on their daughter. "How are you feeling?"

"Like I shot a bowling ball out of my crotch," sighed Gail. "Sore. I didn't even get an epidural."

Holly grinned and stroked the tiny cheek with her thumb. "I can't believe you made a person."

The sleepy blonde rubbed Holly's hand. "We." Gail tapped the back of Holly's hand. "We made a person."

One of the things her father and Gail's had both told her was to not argue with the pregnant woman, and never tell the mother of your child that she was wrong. If Gail said _they_ made a baby, which was indeed medically accurate, then _they_ made a baby. "She's beautiful."

"Yeah, she is." Gail's body started to get heavier. "Thank you."

Holly felt like she should be saying that, but squeezed Gail closer. "It's too soon to talk about another one, right?" She was half joking and half curious. "I mean, we can keep those frozen eggs for a long time."

There was no reply. Gail was probably asleep and Holly gently tugged the blanket up to keep them all warm. "Two conditions," said Gail sleepily. "First, not for a couple years."

"Fair enough." She wasn't thinking about it right now. Maybe after a year of sleep, if that was even possible. "Second condition?"

"If you do it."


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> At the end of OWtO, people who guessed the leads for the possible sequel were given the option to pick prompts. Which I rarely do. But I got this one from Em Arch (rudy0924):
> 
> "Hurt/Comfort - Gail gets hurt; Holly happens to be pregnant at the time; freaks out a bit"
> 
> I mulled around with it and then decided that since I left a door open anyway, here you go with a second chapter. It may not quite be the hurt/comfort you wanted.

"If you don't pull through this," muttered Holly. "I will kill you."

She stared at the machines plugged into her wife and listened to their rhythmic beeping. Gail hadn't woken up yet, which wasn't surprising. They hadn't found any brain damage, which was surprising considering the mangled wreck of the car. Elaine probably wasn't supposed to show her photos, but Holly had stared at them for the six hours it took for Gail's surgery.

It was officially the worst day of her life.

That wasn't how it had started out.

She pulled the paperwork out of her pocket and stared at it again. "You suck," she informed Gail. "I can't tell anyone."

The thing was they all knew. Everyone knew they were trying, at least, but no one except Gail knew the schedule and the timing this time around. They wanted less stress. Holly snorted a laugh. Less stress. She'd probably be crying again, but she felt so out of tears. She felt drained and empty. Raw.

As she read the paper, she picked up Gail's near hand. Deep scrapes covered the back of her hand, a sutured gouge on her arm. And this was the good side. Her right side was crushed or swollen, depending on where you looked. The leg was the worst, the head the best thank god, and her arm was so bruised and battered the doctors weren't sure yet if it was broken.

From what Steve and Traci could tell her, it was supposed to have been a normal day and a normal patrol. Not the day that Holly would probably remember in terror for the rest of her life.

Gail had been assigned with Andy, patrolling with no agenda or case or specific thing to look out for. A normal day. Letting Andy drive, Gail had been texting Holly continuously, asking how she felt, if she needed anything, and triple checking that she was supposed to be at the doctor's office at noon. Not that she said 'doctor' on the phone, she just said 'there' and kept telling Andy to shut up.

Perhaps ironically, they'd both been at the hospital at noon. Holly had assumed Gail was stuck in the traffic jam she'd heard about on the radio and went ahead with the exam anyway. While it had been all fine and dandy to use a home test for Gail, Holly was a few years older and had some higher risks, so she was in the doctor's office, peeing on a stick and giving a little blood and getting the news from a human. It was their same doctor as last time, who hugged her and told her congratulations. It had taken them over half a year and five tries, but they got it. Holly was a month pregnant.

Folding the paper away, she leaned over. "You got me pregnant, so don't think you're getting out of this, Peck."

Gail didn't twitch. Not that Holly expected her to. She brushed the hair out of Gail's face and sighed. Holly hadn't known about the accident until she called Gail to tell her the good news, and got an out of service. That had been worrying so she decided to call Oliver, only to get an incoming call from St. Pats. Please come. There'd been an accident.

Holly had all but sprinted across to the ER, managing to get there while still on the phone with the admit desk nurse. That was probably going to be very funny later on, but right now it was agonizing. Holly demanded to know what was going on and found herself sitting by a banged up and conscious Andy McNally. Her right arm was in a sling. Her face was speckled with blood from the safety glass that had shattered. Her nose was broken from the airbag. But she was okay.

"The guy came out of nowhere," Andy explained.

For once that was true. They'd been driving below an overpass when a semi up above blew a tire and went over the edge. Literally unseen to Andy, and frankly how could she be expected to see that, they'd heard the explosion and seen the cement. Gail had slapped on the siren and was shouting into the radio that something had blown up on the overpass. As Andy told it, Gail was incredibly calm in a crisis, making sure the information was there.

But none of that really mattered when the semi had landed right on them.

On Gail. Mostly. The cruiser had skidded, getting rear ended while Andy tried to avoid the rubble, and the semi had crushed the passenger side of the cruiser. Right where Gail had been sitting.

Her right leg was a mess of pins and metal now. The orthopedic doctor swore it was going to be fine, that the damage looked horrible. But she would be able to run again in a year. She would see her daughter graduate college and have a great future and in all likelihood still be able to be a cop.

That was when Holly broke down sobbing, having a full blown panic attack right there.

That was when Elaine wrapped her arms around Holly and held her close, promising that they'd be fine. That Gail would be fine. That their family would be okay.

It had taken quite a while to calm Holly down. Elaine had stayed the whole time, holding Holly's hand through the surgery, and dispatching Steve to pick up Kate from pre-school. Thank god for type A people like Elaine, realized Holly, as sanity came back to her.

The woman she'd thought of as cold and calculating turned out to be organized. Elaine took charge of everyone and everything, making sure Gail got a private room. She also made sure Holly was allowed in at all hours, and that the top surgeons in the country would be available for her daughter.

After the first surgery, and Gail was brought back into her room to recover, Holly settled in a surprisingly comfortable chair and watched Gail sleep. "You look younger when you sleep," she muttered, rubbing her thumb on the back of Gail's hand.

Normally Holly loved watching Gail sleep. It was one of the few times she was still and quiet. And yes, she looked young and beautiful when she slept. Normally. Not right now. Right now she looked broken and battered and bruised and in pain. Her face was scrunched up in an unhappy expression. Holly wanted to give her more painkillers, but the nurse promised the schedule was fine.

What did nurses know anyway? Everything. She knew that from her ER rotation. Nurses knew everything. They were the real gods of the hospital. You never wanted to piss off the nurses.

The door to Gail's room opened and Elaine came in. "Gail said you liked Mediterranean food." Elaine held up two bags.

Her stomach turned. "I don't know if I can eat," Holly muttered.

A bottle of Pedialyte was plunked in front of her. "Drink that first," ordered Elaine, and she set up three plates of food.

"Even if she wakes up, she can't eat that." Holly twisted off the cap and sipped the baby drink, finding it surprisingly tasty. She must have needed it.

"Humor me. She had her appendix out and was demanding a cheeseburger that night," smiled Elaine. The mother of her wife looked at Gail fondly. She brought Holly a plate and then gently brushed Gail's bangs back. "Are you feeling better, Holly?"

Holly squinted at her mother-in-law. "Kind of. You were right." Weirdly, Elaine had demanded Holly read over the medical notes for Gail's surgery, insisting it would help calm her down.

"Reading the accident reports always helped me when it was them." The bottle-job red-haired woman took her own plate and sat beside Holly. "So. What did the doctor say?"

Sipping the drink, Holly sighed. "The ortho guy promised she'd be fine, able to run and everything. He said a year, but that all depends on how she does rehab, which I suspect will be ... Well. Gail." Holly regarded her wife fondly. "She can still be a cop, can't she?"

Elaine looked surprised. "With a bad leg? We'll find a place for her. But I meant what did _your_ doctor say." Her doctor? Holly felt puzzled and Elaine sighed, rolling her eyes just like Gail did. "The nurse said you got here in seconds."

Holly blushed. "Oh. I ... " Stalling, she sipped her drink again. "This doesn't seem right."

They both looked at Gail, breathing just fine on her own, but not awake. "That would be a yes," said Elaine shrewdly. An arm wrapped around her shoulders, pulling Holly in to a gentle hug.

How had she ever though that Elaine wasn't warm? The woman had the same brittle exterior her daughter showed the world. But, much the same, Elaine was gentle and caring when it was needed. She was firm and pushy too, but she was a mother who loved her daughter. And by extension, Elaine seemed to love Holly too.

"She'll be fine. You watch. With you being pregnant, she'll be on her feet in no time. Everything will be okay."

* * *

It was another three days before Gail woke up.

Holly was there when she woke just by chance. She'd come by late that morning, almost at lunch time, to check with the doctors. Was Gail okay? Were they doing everything they could? Were the scans normal?

As they stood around there talking about it, Gail rasped, "Why are you saying all those words?"

The doctor dropped his clipboard in shock. Holly though, Holly broke out laughing. That was exactly what she'd come to expect from her crazy wife. The doctor and nurses quickly spun into action, evaluating a very cranky Gail who finally snapped.

"Shut up, shut up," she snarled. "Holly."

"I'm right here," Holly replied, unable to fight the wet smile on her face.

"What'd the doctor say?"

The doctor in the room cleared his throat. "Ms. Peck, are you feeling disoriented?"

Gail pointed at him with her right hand. "Shut. Up. Not you. Dr. Mayhew."

"Really, Gail?" Holly knew she sounded exasperated, but it was hilarious. She also started crying.

Exhaling loudly, Gail looked up. "Oh boy," she sighed and then laughed until she was crying too.

The hospital staff was less than thrilled with their behavior. Somehow Holly managed to get herself under control enough for them to examine Gail and determine she had her brain. Which Holly could have told them. Because Gail's first thought was about the appointment with Holly's OB/GYN.

After the medical staff left the room, Gail asked, "You're pregnant?"

"Yeah." Holly took Gail's hand. "We're having another one."

Gail smiled. Her face was still swollen and bruised and purple, but she was smiling. "We're having another baby. I cannot wait until it hits your boobs."

And Holly started laughing again until she was suddenly gulping tears of relief. Her wife was still her wife. Gail was still the same grumpy, bitchy, person inside. While Holly buried her face on Gail's good side, her wife gently caressed her hair and promised she'd be fine.

Finally she was able to stop crying, which felt like it took forever and Holly mumbled, "Sorry."

The hand on her head paused. "Uh, I think that's my line, Holls," mused Gail. She sounded mostly like herself, if thick voiced and tired.

Holly squinted at her. "Unless you managed to drop the semi on yourself…"

The bright laugh from Gail soothed her on so many levels. "I would have dropped it on Girl Guide McNally." Then Gail looked worried. "How's Andy?"

"Fine. She broke her arm getting out of the car." Holly scooted her chair closer and rested her head on the pillow next to Gail's. She couldn't get in the bed, Gail was too banged up, but she wanted to be as close as possible.

"Only McNally," sighed Gail, resting her good arm around Holly's shoulder. "It was a semi?"

"What do you remember?"

Gail looked up at the ceiling and frowned. "Falling cement. Big chunk landed right in front of us. McNally swerved, someone hit the back. I grabbed the radio and was calling in … something? Then I felt this crunch and … Now I'm here."

So Holly explained the semi truck, thank god not hauling a trailer, had blown a tire. She showed Gail the pictures and the realization of how lucky they were sunk in. "How are you feeling?"

After a moment, Gail said, "Disconnected."

Holly frowned. "You can feel your feet though…"

"Oh, no not that." Gail looked down at her feet. "What drugs am I on?" Ah. Holly smiled and closed her eyes for a moment, reciting the medications. "I'm going to pretend I understood that."

"You're on some really nice pain killers, and some things to help you not have blood clots. You've got a bunch of pins in your leg right now, and you didn't break your arm, but you need to keep it still for a while."

"I can do that," yawned Gail.

"Sleep," suggested Holly. Gail didn't reply and was asleep again in moments. She watched her wife for a long time, until she had to go collect their daughter and explain that Mommy would be okay. She'd woken up and was grumpy and cranky. And Kate said that it sounded like Mommy was normal.

Finally she got to tell Kate that her mom was just fine. That Gail was going to be okay.

* * *

They brought Kate in to see her the next day, once Gail was cleaned up a bit more and had eaten and slept, which was different from the unconsciousness. The pre-schooler clung to Holly as she was carried into the room. "Remember, you can't jump on Mommy, or hug her too hard."

"Kay," whispered the girl and gripped Holly's shirt tighter.

Opening the door, Holly poked her head in first. "Up for a pint-sized visitor?" When Gail nodded, Holly stepped inside. "See? There's Mommy."

"Hey, baby girl," smiled Gail, propped up and sipping something from a straw. Her right arm was hoisted up and she wiggled the fingers at them.

Kate's eyes went wide and she pressed her face into Holly's shoulder. The girl shuddered. They'd talked about letting her in or not and how it might traumatize her. Both Gail and Elaine were adamant that seeing Gail would be better than not seeing her at all. After all, Gail was a cop. She could get shot or worse and it was going to be a part of life.

Sighing, Gail thumbed the button to adjust her bed. "Katie-did, can't I get a hug from my girl?"

The girl shook her head. "Mama said not to."

Gail burst out laughing. "I think if you make it a little hug, it's okay." She patted the left side of her bed.

Holly shook her head, ruefully, and sat down in the spot. Right away, Gail reached up to caress her cheek. "Hi," she smiled at Gail, and kissed the hand.

"Hi," replied Gail, tiredly.

Peeking over, Kate looked at Gail with those big blue eyes that were all Peck. "Does it hurt lots, Mommy?"

Gail nodded. "It does." She managed to reach Kate's back and patted it. "Did Mama tell you what happened?"

The girl nodded her head so fiercely, the dark hair bobbled. "Mama and Grandma said a car fell on you an' Andy."

"A truck," corrected Gail. And she held out her good arm for Kate. There was a bit of fidgeting, but Kate finally slid off Holly's lap and sat next to Gail.

The girl studied her mother's face. "Does it hurt?" The question was repeated, as if Kate was unsure what was the right thing to say.

Gail nodded. "Lots."

"Did Andy get hurt too?"

"She broke her wrist," Gail said, reaching up to brush Kate's bangs away from her face. "Can I have a kiss?" She tapped her own cheek. "It doesn't hurt right here."

The girl darted in with a quick kiss for Gail. "How long do you have ta be here?"

"Good question," laughed Gail. "Holl?"

"At least a month. Probably two. It depends—" Holly cut herself off and frowned. It depended on how fast Gail healed. How well she healed.

Gail whispered to Kate, "Mama's doing it again. Make her stop." And Kate wrapped her arms around Holly, squeezing her tight. That was how she shut Holly up. Gail would kiss her, but Kate just hugged until Holly laughed and hugged her back.

"It's going to be a while," sighed Holly, squeezing Kate back.

"It's going to be _fine_ ," promised Gail.

* * *

Two surgeries and a month and a half later, Gail finally came home. On crutches to boot. Like Elaine had promised, the minute Holly told Gail she actually was pregnant, the blonde spun into a whirlwind of work. She was going to be up on and on her feet and ready to help with baby number two before it got here, so help her.

And she was. For the most part. Gail was in pain much of the time, in physical therapy every day, though she was able to make it up the stairs before she came home. Still, it was not something you could just magically speed up.

Nor could you slow down the fact that Holly was pregnant. Month four hit right after Gail got home, and _everyone_ noticed.

"This sucks," Holly muttered to Gail as they left Gail's therapy appointment. The physical terrorist (who informed Gail she'd heard that one before) saw Holly and congratulated them. "Everyone can tell I'm pregnant. _No one_ figured out you were till after the wedding."

"You have a better glow," suggested Gail. "And my natural inclination to hate scared them off."

Holly snorted. "I'm going to be big," she complained, starting the car.

As she shifted into reverse, Gail's hand covered hers. "Hey," she said quietly.

Damn. Gail was good at making her feel loved with just a word or a look. "Stop that."

"What?" Gail was startled.

Holly grumped. "My hormones are all over the place and you're not allowed to have sex yet."

Gail laughed. "That is _not_ what the doctor said. He said we had to be careful." She held up both hands. "My arms are perfectly functional." While she'd had her right arm bandaged, Gail had not actually broken a thing in it. And she was lucky as hell that she'd not broken her hip or femur, like they originally feared.

She had seriously 'screwed up' her leg, though. Neither of the subsequent surgeries were just about getting the shards of metal out, as it turned off. Gail asked to kept some, for reasons she'd not explained to Holly. The surgeries had been to correct bone, to add and remove pins, and to make sure everything was going to be fine.

But it had to hurt all the time and Gail was weirdly not complaining a bit. She muscled through PT, was honest about her pain levels, and didn't argue about a damn thing. She complained a little about things, like not being able to shower on her own, or how her knee felt weird. The oddest explanation was that it was puffy on the inside.

Because it wasn't Gail's knee anymore. It was plastic and metal and pins and there was still a question if Gail would be able to be a patrol officer anymore. After a long argument with the city's doctor about it, the agreement was that if, within a year, Gail could complete the obstacle course all the rookies had to do, with a passing grade, she could stay a patrol cop. Otherwise they'd have to make allowances.

Thinking about all that, Holly sighed shakily. "You were really lucky."

Gail looked down at the brace on her leg. "I can't believe it missed my head," she admitted. "Not that anyone would notice that damage."

Giving her wife a side-eye, Holly had to smile. "Do you really think you can do it?" A year was not a lot of time.

"I do. I got a hold of this guy, Banach, in California, who had a knee replacement. He did it." Gail's jaw was set in the way Holly knew brokered no arguments. She wanted this and, damn it, she'd get it. "Look, the worst that happens is I end up on a desk job."

Holly laughed. "That's the worst? Not retired?"

"So what? We can live on my kick-ass pension if I'm a stay at home mom. But I'm tired of letting life happen. I want to do my job, Holly."

Letting life happen had been how Gail had lived before they'd gotten together. What happened would happen, and Gail didn't spend much time dwelling on it. When they'd gotten back together, Gail had mentioned that she wanted to be more than just what she'd been. She wanted to make life happen.

Holly sighed and looked at her stubborn wife. "You're making me old, Gail."

Reaching over again, Gail patted Holly's leg. "No. Our kid, soon to be plural, will do that."

That was equally terrifying and delightful. "Our kid makes me feel old too," smiled Holly, fondly.

Their daughter was fascinated by Gail's leg brace, the scars, and the exercise at home. When Gail did her leg exercises every morning and evening, Kate mimicked them. She couldn't do the push-ups, but she sat on Gail's back while the blonde did them, and Kate was getting very good at some of the yoga poses.

Holly's favorite parts where when Kate would sit on Gail's feet and hug her lower legs, counting the sit-ups. She mostly got the numbers right, until Gail got into the forties and then had to count out loud for their daughter. It was adorable.

Far less adorable was everyone and their mother asking Holly what it was like to be pregnant. Holly showed a lot more than Gail had, a lot faster as well. By four months, Gail had looked a little round. Holly looked _pregnant_. She was inundated by their friends who wanted to ask all about it, what did it feel like, and so on.

It was really maddening. No wonder Gail had gotten pissed off near the end of her pregnancy. She hated people touching her, and now Holly was having her fill. Of course, Gail touching her was okay. When Gail had been pregnant, she'd nestled in Holly's arms most of the time, relaxing on the couch. Between a rambunctious Kate and Gail's leg in the brace, they hadn't really been able to reverse that around.

But Gail wasn't to be dissuaded from making it work. And she did it by buying a new couch. Or rather, by telling Holly's parents they needed a new couch. Holly found out by coming home and seeing Gail propped up on the new, L shaped, couch. Her leg was wedged up on a pillow, against the couch back, with an ice pack on, while Kate played some weird game she'd made up with the Pick-Up-Stix and Heather, Holly's little sister.

"Mama! We got a new couch!"

"So I see," blinked Holly, hanging up her coat. "What brought this on?"

"A big truck brought it, Mama! With a buncha big guys an' Heather and me stayed out of the way and Mommy told them where to put it."

Gail grinned and patted the space next to her. "It means we can sit together, Holl," she pointed out.

Kicking off her shoes, which hurt anyway, Holly sat down beside Gail and was drawn into a surprisingly comfortable position, leaning up against her. "Oh I see," she laughed, as Gail's arm eased around her waist.

"Hi." Gail kissed the spot behind Holly's ear, making her shiver. "Better?"

"Much. How did you think of this?"

Gail snorted. "I can be thoughtful."

And truthfully Gail often was thoughtful to her wife. More so than she was to anyone else. "I didn't say you weren't," said Holly with a smile.

Gail kissed her neck again. "Fine. Oliver suggested it. And since he has three daughters, I figured I should listen." She rested her palm on Holly's stomach. "Hey in there. How's it going?"

There hadn't yet been significant movement. Holly could feel it from the inside, but it wasn't quite the same as when she'd felt Kate move inside Gail. The fact that an entire other person was being created inside her was still fascinating. It was bewildering and amazing. It made her feel a little godlike.

"It was happier when you were kissing me." Holly gave Gail a teasing look. With a wry smile, Gail kissed her neck again. "Better." Then Gail kissed her lips and Holly could only smile and kiss her back.

"Katie, can you say pervert," joked Heather, propping up more sticks.

Kate wrinkled her nose. "Mama, can Heather stay for dinner?"

"If she wants." Holly sighed, realizing she had to figure out dinner.

Gail poked her ribs. "Dinner is in the oven, Holly," she whispered. "Heather helped me make lasagna."

That actual sounded good, realized Holly with a shock. "I think I can eat that," she admitted, and let Gail hold her close. Even without the kissing, it was much nicer.

"Poor baby," said Gail gently. She understood the misery of foods being unappealing. Even though that hadn't really happened until later, and even though Gail hadn't had much of morning sickness, she was nothing but understanding.

"Ugh, you guys are so gross," Heather remarked. But then, without being asked, she got up and started to set the table with Kate trotting along telling her how she was doing everything wrong.

Holly closed her eyes and settled in against Gail. "Thank you," she whispered to her wife.

The blonde kissed her forehead. "You're welcome. How was work?"

"Bad. I can't do half my work anymore." She frowned and listened to the chatter in the kitchen. "I'm going to be doing nothing but paperwork soon."

Gail's hand caressed her shoulder and side. "I'm sorry. I know it's boring."

That really did help, because she knew Gail understood. Gail had been there only a few years ago, after all. Gail had dealt with people being inconsiderate and touching her and not letting her do what she wanted. Gail had dealt with changing bra sizes, her body aching in weird ways, and yes, the feeling of a baby moving inside you was weird.

Really weird.

Holly sighed and squeezed Gail gently. The difference between then and now was that Holly had been healthy and fit and able to help Gail through more than just emotionally. But here was Gail finding a way around that, a way to give her a little comfort and make like a little easier.

"It's all going to be okay," she told Gail. "We're all going to be okay."

* * *

When the baby moved, really moved, for the first time, Gail was at physical therapy. Holly was loading Kate into the car, both of them singing a song from a Disney musical, when she felt something new. It was like indigestion but not at all. It was something actually moving.

"Mama, what's wrong? You stopped singing!"

Holly stared at her daughter. "Sorry." The feeling stopped too. Odd. They started singing again and the movement happened again. So that was what Gail had meant. Holly placed a hand on her stomach and smiled. "Your little brother or sister likes when we sing."

Her daughter stopped singing about bells and flumpy going up the stairs. "How do you know?" Kate sounded confused and skeptical.

"Well. I can feel it." Holly smiled at her. "If you put your hand here and we sing, I bet you'll feel it too."

Kate eyed her but put her hand on Holly's stomach. "The itsy bitsy spider went up the water spout," she sang, and Holly quickly joined in. "Down came the rain an' washed the spider out." Kate's eyes bugged out as the baby moved. "Mama!" She sounded deathly serious. "There's a _baby_! There's a baby in there!"

Sometimes Holly wondered exactly what Kate had made of their explanations about her impending sibling. "When we get home, let's sing for Mommy so she can feel it." This was, Kate agreed, a great idea.

When they got home, Gail was in sweats and a t-shirt, her damp hair back in a pony tail, cooking. No knee brace. "Hey, my girls are home!"

Kate thundered over. "Mommy! Mommy you have to sing!"

Gail blinked and looked down. "Hey, no running when someone's cooking, Kate."

The girl bounced on her toes. "Mooooooommy!"

Lumbering her way over, Holly picked up Kate and put her on the stool in the kitchen. "Yeah, Gail. Sing."

"Sheesh, you guys are so damn bossy." But she put the knife down and cleared her throat to sing an Adele song.

Bingo. The baby moved. Holly reached over to take Gail's hand, which didn't stop her singing. When she put the hand on her stomach, though... "Keep singing," she promised.

And the baby moved again. Gail stopped. "Okay, that's _way_ weirder this way," she laughed. "Hey, junior. You like singing?" Gail squatted with a bit of a wince, putting both hands on Holly's stomach.

"We sang Itty Bitty Spider to her, Mommy," announced Kate proudly. So of course, Gail and Kate sang it to the baby and Gail broke into delighted laughter when she felt the baby move.

That night in bed, Gail lay sideways, resting her head on Holly's thigh and caressing the baby bump. "This is all very different from this side of it," she admitted. "It's way more interesting when it's not me."

"Savor it, because I am not doing this a second time," smiled Holly, putting her book down.

"Oh you're sure?"

"Oh yes," she said firmly. "My ankles are swollen, I'm sick off and on all day, and it's uncomfortable." Gail snorted and pushed Holly's shirt up a little, smoothing her hand over the skin. "That feels nice, though."

Without saying anything, Gail shifted and kissed her stomach. "I don't know why I'm surprised that the things you like and the things I liked are different." She ran her palm over Holly's stomach, making small circles. It was soothing and calming and, Holly freely admitted, she loved it.

"Because we're different people."

"Exactly." Gail kissed the roundness of Holly's stomach again. "Like I was barely noticeable and you're amazingly curvy. I was cranky... Crankier. You're just irritated. But if I had half the glow you did, I totally get why you couldn't keep your hands off me."

Holly blinked and looked down at Gail and those twinkling blue eyes. "Excuse me? You're the reason for the Elaine Rule."

Smirking, Gail traced her hand lower until it was very clear what her intentions were. "My hormones were all over the place," she said softly. "And you were very accommodating."

It was hard not to giggle a little at that, but Holly quickly forgot about the humor in Gail's words. Oh god Gail's lips felt so nice on her skin. "Wait, your knee-" She stopped as Gail tugged at her shorts, torn between worry about her wife and the out and out desire for Gail to keep going. "Gail..."

"Holly," replied Gail. "I'm not going to hurt my knee." She kissed the hollow of Holly's hip and pulled her shorts off. It was hard to come up with a coherent reply when Gail was doing that. And yes, it felt so good. Holly bit her lower lip and gave in.

She didn't want to admit that she'd been afraid of sex. It wasn't that she was afraid of it really, but she was afraid of hurting Gail's already banged up body. Holly had starved herself of cuddling, caressing, and yes, sex, because three months after the accident, the scars were still red and raw. With Gail's skin so pale, the bruises had lingered far longer than Holly was comfortable about.

The marred skin cut at Holly. She'd gotten used to Gail's beautiful, perfect skin. The pale tone and the milky color and that smoothness. God how Holly loved it. And now it was gone in many ways. Her right arm and leg would never look the same. They would never move the same.

Though right then they were moving in a way that made Holly unable to concentrate on anything but the arm and the hand and God, had Gail always been that good at that? Probably. Definitely. Most definitely. Holly's back arched off the bed and her mind went totally, blissfully, wonderfully blank for a moment. There was nothing but her and Gail and again and again and yes. Yes. Yes to say yes.

Everything tingled in that wonderful way. Her body was slick with sweat. Holly sighed and smiled. "Yes," she said softly.

"My mountain flower," said Gail. She drew herself back up to lie along side Holly. "And your heart is going like made and she said yes to say yes. Yes."

Holly giggled and looked up at Gail. "Did you just bastardized James Joyce at me?"

"You started it." Gail kissed Holly's shoulder. "Holly bloom big with seed."

It had been years since she'd read _Ulysses_ , James Joyce's seminal work of annoying art. As much as the book was called a classic, it gave Holly a headache. "When did you read that?"

"College." Gail yawned. "I minored in lit."

Even now, even years into knowing Gail and a few years into marriage, she was learning new things. "I married a lit minor? If you tell me you write poetry, I'm leaving you."

Gail chuckled. "Not since my hair was dyed black." She settled under the covers.

Holly shifted and took Gail's hand, putting it on her stomach. "Did Kate settle down after sex?"

"Hmm. Early on, yes. Around month eight she decided to tap-dance on my bladder just about every time I had an orgasm." That was not something to look forward too, decided Holly. "Feel a little more relaxed?"

"A lot. Yes." Then. "Thank you."

"Very, very, welcome." Gail squeezed Holly's fingers. "Now. Go to sleep. Everything is just fine."

* * *

As the days got closer to Gail's recertification, Holly was filled with more and more dread. It didn't help that Gail had taken to not telling her about the various adventures she was going on to get ready. The shooting certification was the easy one. If was the obstacle course.

Gail didn't even tell her the first time she tried it. She just drove a couple hours, with Oliver, down to the Academy when no classes were in session and tried it out. The only reason Holly even found out was she was home when a muddy and sore Gail showed back up at home.

The argument had been pretty bad. Holly hadn't meant to shout, but as she saw the discoloration on Gail's arms from where she fell, she lost it. How could Gail be that reckless? That careless? They had a child, and another on the way, and Gail was pushing herself to get back in uniform and back out to the streets.

Never one to be quiet when confronted, Gail snapped back that she was a cop and this was her life and what she did. It wasn't news to Holly before they married. Hell. It wasn't news before they'd dated. Gail was a cop. She was a Peck and a cop and she was always going to be that.

The shouting stopped when Kate started crying for her moms to stop fighting.

They both dropped the argument immediately. Gail scooped Kate up, mud and all, and apologized. Holly was there in an instant, also expressing her regret for scaring Kate. It took them a while to calm the girl down, both promising they weren't about to get a divorce (though Holly wondered where she'd learned about that).

Gail was ever patient with their daughter, a trait she rarely demonstrated with anyone over the age of fifteen. Sitting on the stairs, Gail stroked Kate's hair and explained that sometimes grown ups got mad and frustrated, just like she did. And sometimes they shouted because they were mad. But it didn't mean at all that they didn't love each other. It was scary and she was sorry. They were sorry.

Not sorry enough to talk about it reasonably though. At night, they slept in the same bed but facing away from each other. They didn't talk about the fight at all. Every time Holly tried to bring it up, Gail shut her down.

That lasted four days. On Friday, Holly dejectedly came home to a half empty house. Gail was sorting out dinner. Take out from a place they loved and Kate thought was smelly.

"What's going on?"

"Kate is at my parents' place for the weekend," Gail said simply. "We are going to sit and talk about this, without having to worry about freaking her out if we shout."

It was rather genius, Holly had to admit. "And my favorite pho place?"

"Well. I was ... " Gail trailed off. "I was a brat. And that wasn't fair to you or Kate."

Holly sat at the table. "I shouldn't have started the shouting." She sighed. "Can we eat first? I don't want to do this on low blood sugar."

Smiling, Gail put a bowl in front of Holly. "Yes. I blame you for having the same thought."

With a grin, Holly took a spoonful. "I will cry if this gives me heartburn."

"Oh man, when I couldn't eat cheese puffs... I did cry."

"You did. You did." Holly exhaled happily. "This is good."

"Yeah? Good. Because my backup plan was rice and something."

"A good backup." Holly reached a hand out and Gail took it, squeezing. "Pho is definitely better."

Gail gave an awkward smile and they ate quietly. Finally, though, it was Gail who started. "I should have told you before I went to the course."

"Why didn't you?" Holly had her suspicions, but...

"A couple reasons, and for the record Oliver said I was stupid. First I didn't want to stress you out. Being pregnant." When Holly snorted, Gail smiled. "Right."

"Second?"

"Second I was ... I didn't want to fail in front of you."

That was something Holly had forgotten. Gail had a fear of failure, stemming from her childhood, she was just terrified of being half the cop her family was. "Honey." Holly exhaled loudly. It didn't matter how many times Holly had said it, how many times she'd told Gail that it was alright to fail. Her wife hated it.

Chagrined, Gail nodded. "I know. I know."

Holly rubbed her forehead. "I don't like it."

"I know," said Gail again. Then she chewed her lip. "Do you want me to quit?"

That was a horrible question. Holly scowled. "Damn it, Gail. You can't put this on me. It's not fair."

Her wife held up her hands. "I'm not! I'm ... I don't know what's upsetting you about me going back to work."

And that was fair. "I don't want you to get hurt," said Holly flatly. "I hate that you were nearly killed by a falling semi. I hate that you get shot at. And I hate that you go back out there."

Gail frowned. "This isn't new." She didn't ask that, she stated it.

"No. It's not." Holly shook her head. "It's worse now, and I don't know if it's because you got in this accident or if it's because I'm pregnant, and God my hormones are all over the place, or just..." She stopped.

"Or if it's just everything?"

"Yeah."

Nodding, Gail leaned back in her chair. "Most cops never get hurt, Holly."

"And yet." Holly knew she was sounding bitter and angry, but it was how she felt. "Kidnapped, shot at, smushed..."

"Which means, mathematically speaking, the odds are low for any of that happening again." When Holly looked up, startled, she saw Gail smirking. "Come on, nerd. You know the statistical analysis is on my side, here. That car thing? Could've happened to _anyone_. Hell, it did! The guy in the other car was flattened."

Holly scowled. "You are not helping your case here, Peck."

"I am, Holly, because that could happen to anyone!"

She had a point. "Technically you're at a higher risk with all the driving you do," Holly said tersely.

Gail hesitated. "Fine. You have a point." She sighed.

"Besides, you won't quit." Holly shook her head. "You're a Peck and Pecks are cops."

Her wife looked sad, which was surprising. "Do you remember when my Mom was planning our wedding just because we said we were thinking about having a baby?"

Dryly, Holly replied, "How could I forget?"

Gail scooted around and took Holly's hands. "And what did I tell you?"

Holly looked blankly at Gail. "What?"

"I love you." Gail was earnest and calm. "I love you. I don't care, I've never cared if we got married. I didn't care if you wanted to be engaged before or after I got knocked up. I don't care if you want me to walk on my hands in the squad room. As long as I have you, here, with me, I do not care about anyone else. Fuck my mom. Fuck the Pecks. If it means that much, if you cannot be happy ever again when I'm a cop, then I will be something else. Because it's not worth losing you."

Sometimes Gail was really good at that kind of thing. "Oh," said Holly softly.

"What do you want?"

It was daunting. It was a heavy power to suddenly have in her hands. She sighed. "You'd be miserable."

"Maybe." Gail shrugged at her admission. "I've never tried it. I've tried not being with you, though, and I know that makes me miserable."

Holly smiled softly. "Romantic."

"Yeah." Gail smiled. "Sometimes." She lifted Holly's hands and kissed them.

"I hate seeing you hurt, honey."

Gail snorted. "Oh my god, I hate _being_ hurt! Seriously this is a pain in my ass!"

And Holly laughed. It was Gail. It was always Gail. She was always herself. "You're a cop, Gail. I love that about you too. I can't ... I can't ask you to be less than yourself." She leaned in and kissed Gail softly and slowly.

"How can I make this better?" Gail sighed and rested her forehead on Holly's.

"We're a team," said Holly decisively. "I'm going to help you. And it's going to be fine."

* * *

The baby was born before Gail made it through the obstacle course.

Due to weather and people being busy and a doctor needing to do one last out-patient surgery on Gail's shoulder, the test was pushed back. Gail pushed for an extension because of the baby's due date, which no one had the balls to challenge her on. After all, she was talking about Elaine Peck's grandchild.

And then Holly went into labor in the middle of the night. Late. Almost a week late. The contractions woke her up, but the Braxton-Hicks had been going on for days and she wasn't too worried. Not until she counted the timing. Then she realized the contractions were regular. And stronger.

"Hey, Gail." She gently nudged her shoulder. "We need to go."

Gail groaned. "Ten more minutes." And she hunkered down.

Her wife never liked mornings. Or middle of the nights. "Honey, we need to go to the hospital."

There was a pause. Gail shifted. "Contractions?"

"Yes." Holly turned on the light. "They're starting to get closer."

Gail sighed and rolled onto her back. "Oh. Okay. Can you get dressed?"

Nodding, Holly slowly got out of bed. "I can."

Nodding back, Gail got up. "The bag is ready. I'm going to call Rose." It was probably because she was so used to emergency situations, but Gail was cool and collected. She was on the phone, getting dressed, and grabbing the bag all at once. By the time Holly was dressed and downstairs, Gail had a cranky and sleepy Kate in her car seat, telling her that she was about to be a big sister.

Kate couldn't have cared less. "Mommy, it's _dark_ ," she said, complaining loudly. Kate was so much like Gail sometimes, it was adorable.

"I'm sorry, sweetie." Holly eased into the car and sighed. "My god, this is not comfortable, Gail."

Buckling herself in, Gail smiled sympathetically. "This is the easy part."

"Remind me again why I did this?"

"Because you wanted two, and I said if you did it." Gail backed out of the garage and sped to the hospital. "But look on the bright side. This time we're both here."

Holly winced as another contraction hit her. "I don't suppose I'll be as lucky as you were."

Naturally she wasn't. It wasn't until the afternoon that the baby finally was born. They'd gotten to the point that the doctor was contemplating cesarean, since baby boy Peck (complete with a shock of red hair) was stubborn as hell. And he was definitely a Peck, yowling his head off at the change in his living situation.

"A boy?"

"A boy." Gail grinned, taking the baby from the doctor and put him right into Holly's arms. "Hey, baby boy," she said, all but cooing at him.

Holly laughed, exhausted but she laughed. "Look at that hair."

"I know, right?" Gail kissed her forehead. "You did great, Holly."

Looking down at the baby in her arms, Holly started crying. When she'd held newborn Kate in her arms, she'd thought she'd never actually loved anything or anyone quite that much before. Now she felt that way again. "Hi, baby," she said to the boy in her arms. "Welcome to the family."

They were busied with moving Holly to a room, cleaning her and the baby up, and finally, finally, she was nursing their son in a quiet space. Gail had been right, saying that nursing felt weird. It was hard to define any other way. She wanted to tell Gail that, but her wife had gone to get Kate and their family.

Little Kate was so confused. "How did the baby get out?"

"There's a special way to do that," said Gail, propping their daughter on her hip. "Mama had to push the baby out."

"Like a poop?"

They laughed, but it was close enough. "Something like that," said Holly. "Come here and meet your baby brother."

Kate's eyes widened. "A boy? Mommy I wanted a sister!"

"They don't come to order, sweetie," said Gail, laughing. "We didn't know you were a girl until you were born." She sat on the edge of the bed, kissing Holly again and then the baby.

That didn't seem to quite make sense to Kate, but she leaned over to look at her brother. "What's his name?"

"We don't know yet." Gail stroked Kate's hair. "Do you have an idea?"

"I can name him?"

"Maybe. Mama gave birth. She gets to veto."

Holly grinned. "Oh is that how it works?"

"That is how it works." Gail grinned back. She settled Kate on her lap. "Remember, no jumping on Mama. She's sore like when she ran the marathon."

"An apt comparison." Holly agreed, begrudgingly, with Gail's analogy. "At least I got an epidural."

"Brag brag. Kate was born in under two hours."

Holly stuck her tongue out. "Fine, Katherine Elizabeth Peck. What do you think we should name your baby brother?"

Kate hesitated. "Can I touch him?"

"Sure. Be real gentle like he's a baby puppy." Since Kate had met Andy's puppies, and understood that, it seemed a safe suggestion. The girl reached over and mimicked Gail's motion, brushing her fingers on his face.

"He's got real red hair, like Uncle Steve." She then leaned forward to study his face. "Can we call him Ian?"

Holly blinked. "Ian?"

"Uh huh. He looks like an Ian," said Kate firmly.

Gail tilted her head. "Ian Franklin Stewart?"

"Peck," corrected Holly. "He's a Peck. Look at that head of hair, Gail."

Making a noise, Gail didn't agree. "Then we outnumber you."

"Maybe I should change my name to Peck."

That surprised her wife. "What? You want to be a Peck?"

"Why not?" Holly smiled. "You know I don't care. Right? As long as I get to be with you."

Gail smiled wetly. "Touché, wife." As Holly moved Ian to her shoulder and burped him, Gail grinned. "Okay. Katie-did, you wanna go tell Aunt Rose and grandpa your brother's name?"

They watched Kate thunder off into the hallway, cheerfully shouting her brother's name to them. "Here, you should hold him more," said Holly, holding out the baby.

"He's a tank, Holly," she said, settling Ian in her arms expertly. "My god, he's eight pounds!" Then Gail looked worried. "How the hell are we going to handle _two_?"

"Carefully, loudly, and together," said Holly and she yawned. "God, I'm tired."

Gail kissed her forehead. "Sleep. I'll go introduce everyone to Ian."

It wasn't until Ian was home that Gail even considered rescheduling her test at the course. By the time she did, Holly had Ian in his front-pack carrier, Kate by the hand, and was the amused newly minted Dr. Peck. Elaine muttered it was about time one of them was a doctor.

And it was Elaine who was more worried than anyone else when Gail got up to the line to run the course. This was her shot at getting her job and her life back. Pregnant or not, new mother or not, Holly had helped Gail train. After that fight, they worked together to prep Gail for her test. Holly, the sporto, set up the regime and made Gail stick to it. And now this was her moment.

"I have never been more scared in my life," said Elaine in a low voice.

Holly smiled. "It's all going to be fine, Elaine. You watch."

"If she does it." Elaine gnawed her lip. "If she makes it through."

"No, it's not an if. She'll do it."

And it would be fine.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The End.
> 
> (And yes, Gail totally did.)


End file.
